Sitting here with my new planner, I decided to start the day with the Dreamer’s intention. I just love the smell of incense, my smokey desk gets more dreamy by the minute. Visions of what is emerging coming to light.

It is still incredible to me how much of myself I don’t know just yet, at least not from this perspective in consciousness. The mystery continues as to what is next to rise from my own depths. Even as I just sit here and sip on coffee, I can taste what is behind the curtain of my unconscious.
There is always someone there with me, looking through my eyes, whispering into my mind and I welcome it. Tired as I am, being a first-time mom, this presence still beckons and calls. I could even say that it is closer than ever before. And though most my dreams seem to quasi-vanish with my baby’s midnight cries, I can sense that I am not needed. The wheels were set in motion way before Wolfe Balthazar was born, and they are not stopping. I find comfort in knowing that I can still tap into my dreams long enough to know the importance of what is happening throughout all dimensions at this moment in time.
Reality is not only here, even though we perceive it as the only real place in which our consciousness exists. How vast I feel when I indulge in my soul’s knowing and let that truth in. The real reality from which this illusion is created has been knocking on my door and the journeys have opened my eyes to the place where I will be awakening to. Dreams have acted as the portal into this other reality and yet, even that real reality is one more layer within the dream. We are effortlessly emerging because there is only one way to go, Up! Sinking is a part of emerging. So, today I sink into the vastness of my true self, wherever or whatever that may be is not important right now. What is important is that I am surrendering to the process with all its unknowns and allowing myself to grow.

In darkness & light,

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Name of Origin – Tree of Life

In the beginning, Wolfe was an Ancient Being. As he grew in my womb, he became more of a baby persona, but all in all, he has always had this old warrior-soul presence.

Our second “meeting” took place in the very beginning of my pregnancy. He broke through the dream veil and showed me his long journey into this life.

He presented me with ancient kabbalah or alchemical charts similar to the one below:

KircherTreeLife(image – Kircher Tree of Life)
Like the tree of life mixed with symbols and geometric shapes on aged paper. It looked like a magical map. He explained telepathically that he had been searching for Dmitry (my husband) for EONS! He said the search had been so long that he had to journey all the way to Dmitry’s name of origin, and trace him throughout all his lifetimes. Dmitry’s name of origin began with a W.

(image source – calligraphyalphabet.org)

It was located at the root of this tree of life chart. It was a complicated and long name, not unlike the old hebrew or angelic type of names. It suddenly hit me, everything Dmitry names, starts with a W. His music projects, his business, his own ‘chosen’ last name, and his son’s name. He even has a painting with Ws. I believe that art is the closest thing to the soul, and this W seems to obviously resonate with him, and now I know why. Wow!

In Wild Wonder,

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Lost Footage Emerges: Entering Dream Worlds…

Let me set the stage. It’s around 2010, I am in California, clarOscura has recently entered my reality, shift hit the fan in a big way and I bought a flip camera as a video experiment.

What happened next? I couldn’t stop talking about dreams and multidimensional experiences in front of the camera. I even did a little word collage as an intro or about clip of the clarOscura project/concept. Shortly after, my hard drives, laptop and cameras got stolen. Yet somehow, by the grace of Goddess, I found these backed up in a random folder and so here she is, clarOscura the early days:

& a whimsical word collage

Nothing’s ever really lost.

Through Dark & Light,

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